Facets of a Diamond - Blog

One of the most difficult ideas to accept is that a person who has wronged us is doing his best. The act may have been hurtful, counterproductive, destructive. It may seem to have been a very bad decision, yet it was for him at that moment the best he could make.

Of course, he could have made a better decision, but no one is perfect. The purpose of learning is to make better decisions, and the purpose of teaching is to encourage them. This is also the goal of therapy. Taking into account all aspects of his existence, all the factors that led him to do what he did, it was his very best.

So he hurt you, cheated you, lied to you. These are certainly not healthy, loving choices. But try to understand that it really was the best he could do. After all, at this very moment you yourself could be doing better. You are choosing not to forgive him. And yet, just like him, you are doing your best.