Lenny, the giant of a man in Steinbeck’s novel Of Mice and Men had a pet mouse that he kept in his pocket. Although he loved it – or apparently loved it – he stroked it to death. He was loving but not tender.
Dan was the same. He obviously loved his wife and had been very affectionate with her over the years, but he could not be tender. His wife readily acknowledged that although he did many loving things, Dan was never really tender. It had always been lacking in all facets of their relationship, particularly in their lovemaking.
If I asked him to stroke her hair affectionately as he normally would, his Life Energy remained high. But if I asked him to stroke her hair as tenderly as he could, ever so lightly, ever so gently, he became stressed. The basic meridian involved is the heart meridian. In Dan’s case as in others, the thought of being gentle to his loved one made him unconsciously angry. For some deeply unconscious reason, perhaps stemming from an early childhood experience, gentleness made him angry.
Dan’s problem was easily corrected. We discussed the meaning of tenderness and gentleness, and then Dan took some of the remedy that overcomes this meridian problem. I asked him to stroke his wife’s hair tenderly again. It was very apparent to me, to his wife, and especially to Dan that it was quite different from before. He was not stroking her as Lenny stroked the mouse, but instead with an absolute tenderness. There was almost a sacred hush in my office as he did it. Then he smiled more broadly than we have ever seen him smile before. He knew there was a difference, and he liked it. For the first time, he has been able to be tender with her.
Extract from the book
The Meridians and Beyond: The Diamond Reports, Vol. 2