“Not Wanting to Give Up Their Illness”
For years I had to use a faulty electric hand drier in the toilet of an office building I visit very frequently. Sometimes it would turn on when, as instructed, I placed my hands under the nozzle, or if I hit it – just so. But next time in the same place, it would not. Sometimes, if I placed my hands differently, or closer, or further away. Or often – nothing.
Annoying at times. Always a challenge. Sometimes a game.
At last, after many complaints, it has been replaced, and the new one works perfectly. But I miss the old one. I was used to it. I admired its contrariness, its stubbornness, its individuality. We had a long-standing relationship – unusual, but real.
Today, as I dried my hands – so effortlessly, so efficiently – I remembered how many sufferers tell me that they do not want to give up their illness. They say they would miss it.