The First Time I Took Vitamin E

By John Diamond, M.D.

I remember very distinctly the occasion on which I took my first vitamin E capsule. I was staying at the house of a friend and I went into his bathroom. There on the shelf before my eyes was a bottle of vitamin E capsules. This was the first time I had ever seen it. I had recently read some papers in the medical literature scoffing at the claims of Dr. Shute that it could help in cases of heart disease. The only other thing that I knew about vitamin E, apart from my long-buried biochemistry studies, was that it seemed to have something to do with sexuality. Hadn’t I read or heard that it would improve your sex life?

I looked at the bottle but did not touch it. I had never seen capsules like them before. I could see through the gelatin to the actual substance which was golden and in some way seemed magical and enticing. I made a sudden decision. I picked up the bottle and took one – just one – and I swallowed it. I felt as if I had done something naughty. I hadn’t felt like this since my teens, when it seemed that everything I did was somehow sexual and naughty. I felt very mischievous, strange and almost elated. I thought of it in my stomach, of the hydrochloric acid starting to eat through the gelatin capsule and I wondered how long it would be before it would enter my bloodstream. I had this certain knowledge that any minute I was going to have a most powerful erection. Should I stay in the bathroom until the erection had arrived and then subsided? Or should I rejoin the company in the living room, in which case the erection might come upon me then, in front of everybody? Being at heart a social scientist, I rejoined the company and awaited the results.

Well, nothing happened in the fifteen minutes or so before we all retired to bed. I attributed the delay to the fact that the capsule was still being digested. I lay back on the bed with my wife, who knew nothing of my secret, waiting for the sexual upsurge to engulf me. I was going to make love like never before! I fell asleep in this state of expectancy and when I awoke in the morning I was somewhat surprised to find that I was the same person.

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